For some of us control is a coping mechanism, only when we can design and orchestrate every aspect of our life do we feel safe. If nothing is left to chance then nothing can go wrong, there are no surprises and no confusion. Planning and preparation become all consuming for even the smallest task and the success of the plan becomes more important than the outcome of the task.
Of course it makes no sense to worry about things we have no control over because worry won’t change anything, but when we worry about losing control of things we are in charge of, then worry becomes its own control and that’s when it can stop us being productive.
The anxiety of taking a chance, going with the flow or seeing how things go, can be terrifying for those who need to be in control. Not having a plan can be paralyzing, but being in control every minute of the day is all consuming, and the trouble is life takes little notice of your plan and carries on around you, creating obstacles and dictating change.
Stress is related to control and as control of the plan slips away, panic sets in and stress causes us to fight for repossession.
Control is powerful but it is also exhausting, and once we stop trying to control everything our lives often stop being driven and become interesting and fulfilling.
“When you are in charge of your life, you tend not to care about losing control of things that don’t really matter, like traffic jams”. Martin Henner
Title quote by William Earnest Henley