“THE ONLY WAY TO HAVE A FRIEND IS TO BE ONE”
Wednesday, October 5, 2011 at 4:05PM Having true friends is often what makes life worthwhile; friendship can be a survival tool through many of life’s struggles. Friends can be morale boosting, tear wiping, and hope inspiring comforters in times of stress and despair. If when we have let ourselves and them down they are also supportive and non-judgmental, then that gives us a value in life, confirmation that they know us well and like us anyway.
We often think that making friends is easy and that it is keeping them that is hard to achieve, but at times when we really need friends we are often at our lowest and a past littered with rejection brings fear to any new encounter. Being vulnerable we are more prepared for rejection than acceptance and if pushed away too often we will often seek out rejection as our due. Shirley Maclaine said “Fear makes strangers of those who would be friends”.
So don’t seek out friendship, Ziglar states “If you are looking for a friend you’re going to find them very scarce, if you go out to be a friend, you will find them everywhere”. Attaching yourself to someone and delivering all their bidding will not make them your friend as friendship is not built on self interest. Friendship is as much about being given the freedom and space to be you as it is about belonging.
"The most beautiful discovery that true friends can make is that they can grow separately without growing apart." Elizabeth Foley
Title quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson
friendship in Self Help